Easy answers to other people's problems

Take a woman in Khobar who makes earrings at her dining table and sells them, a few pairs at a time, through messages to friends and friends of friends. She has been doing it for two years. The orders are steady and small, and she says she wants more.

Anyone listening has the answer within a minute. Open a proper online shop. Charge more. Photograph the pieces in daylight. Let a couple of boutiques stock them. It is easy, and it feels generous to offer.

It is easy for a reason. The listener cannot see the fences she has put up. Her sister buys the beads for her and would be hurt if she found a wholesaler. Her husband thinks selling to strangers is beneath the family. She has decided, without ever saying so, that these people are not to be argued with. From outside, those fences are invisible, so the problem looks simple. Remove a limit and almost any problem gets simpler.

The second reason is harder to admit. If the earrings took off, she would face new questions, larger and less comfortable ones. Strangers would judge the work. Someone would ask for a refund. There would be couriers and paperwork. Staying stuck at a few orders a week is uncomfortable, but it is a known discomfort, and a known discomfort is easy to live with.

None of this is special to her. The same is true of every problem anyone carries, including whichever one I have been circling for a while. The advice we hand so freely to others is usually available to us too. What stands between us and it is the list of people we have decided not to disappoint, and the fear of what comes next.

The problem gets solved on the day it matters more than the fences, and more than the fear of the next problem.