Liked is not the same as told

Two days after a parcel of linen cushion covers arrives at a flat in Dubai, a message follows from the small shop that sold them. How likely are you to recommend us to a friend, from nought to ten?

The buyer taps a nine. The covers were well made, the parcel came on time, the note inside was handwritten. Nine feels fair.

But a nine in a form is not a recommendation. It is a polite way of saying I liked buying from you. Ask the same buyer a month later how many friends she actually sent to the shop, and the honest answer is usually none.

That is not a failure of the shop. Being liked matters. A buyer who feels comfortable and trusting will come back, and that is worth a great deal.

It is simply a different thing from being talked about.

People pass on a seller when telling someone about it says something about them. The friend who found the maker before anyone else in the building did. The sister who always knows where the good things come from. The recommendation does something for the person making it: it makes them the one who knows, or it ties them a little closer to the person they are telling.

Nobody does it as a favour to the seller, and no form can ask it into existence.

So the nine is real, and pleasant, and it measures liking. Being told about is rarer and worth far more, and it only happens when the telling is a gift to the teller.