Where the roundabout used to be

Ask for the way to a house in the older part of Yanbu and you may be told to turn right where the roundabout used to be.

The person saying it is being kind. In their head the roundabout is still there. They drove around it for twenty years; it was taken out some time ago, but the map they carry was never redrawn, because it never needed to be. Everyone they usually guide already knows.

The visitor does not. They are searching for a roundabout that is not there, driving slowly, with a queue of cars behind them.

A great many of the misunderstandings between people are this one. Someone explains from the spot where they are standing, with everything they have seen from it, and quietly assumes the listener is standing there too.

A parent tells a teenager to do it properly this time, when the teenager has never been shown what properly looks like. A seller writes "same as before" on an order for a buyer who is new. A friend sends a message that leans on a conversation the other person was never part of.

None of these people is careless. Starting from where we are is the most natural thing in the world. It is, after all, where we live.

The better habit is to assume, every time, that the other person is arriving without what we have, and to begin from there. Name the street. Describe what stands on the corner today. Say what properly means. It costs a few more words, and it is the difference between being given directions and actually arriving.