Most people are waiting to be asked

On a Saturday morning in Dubai, a few hundred people walk the same stretch of beach path. Many of them are new to the city. Many of them would like to know someone. Almost all of them walk past each other with earphones in.

This is the usual pattern wherever people gather. A crowd turns up, and most of it watches. At the gallery opening, people circle the walls and hope someone will start a conversation. In the group chat for the building, hundreds read and a handful write. At the community event, the room fills and the people who came to meet others mostly stand near the people they came with.

There are deep reasons for this. We are wired to be wary of strangers, and most of us were taught early to wait for permission and not to stand out. Watching feels safe. It also rarely gets anyone what they came for.

The alternative is small and slightly uncomfortable. Be the one who goes first. Walk up to someone standing alone and ask them a question you would be glad to be asked. Answer the post in the group chat with something useful instead of a thumbs up. And if there is nothing to join, start it: a note in the building chat saying you will be at the corner of the path at seven on Sunday, running slowly, and anyone is welcome.

Usually a few people come. They were waiting for exactly that note.

This is not about pushing yourself forward. It is closer to the opposite: making it easy for the others who were also only looking.