Begin by liking the beginners

There are two kitesurfing schools on the same stretch of beach in Ras Al Khaimah.

One is hard to get into. The instructors are serious riders, booking takes three messages and a wait, and newcomers are made to feel slightly lucky to be there. People love it anyway, and some love it because of that. Being accepted by something difficult says a little about you. That pull is real, and plenty of brands are built on it.

The other school is run by a woman who plainly enjoys beginners. The nervous ones who will not let go of the board, the ones who fall a dozen times in the shallows, the ones who come back the next weekend with a friend. She remembers their names. When one of them stands up for three seconds, she is as pleased as they are.

Her school is liked too, in a different way, and it is far easier to keep going. The first kind of affection depends on staying exclusive and a little cold, and that has to be defended every season. The second only depends on her carrying on feeling what she already feels.

Most people starting something reach for the first model, because from outside it looks like success. Distance reads as quality. But distance is costly to hold, and it quietly picks the customers, often people the owner does not much enjoy serving.

The simpler route runs the other way. Decide who you would actually like to spend your days with, and make something for them. Customers can tell whether they are liked, and most of them answer in kind.

If I wanted a business to be liked, I would start by checking whether it likes the people in front of it.